The Start of a Better Day

I slept an entire night for the first time in over 3 months. It was amazing. I woke up in a fog and not knowing what in the world was going on but once I realized that I didn't wake up once in pain or having to pee, I immediately became happy. I felt like a new woman. Almost. I'm still sad that all of this has happened and don't understand a lot of it but I'm better. And, it's a better day. The reason I slept all night long was because I decided NOT to take the prescribed pain killer and went with an Advil PM instead. That stuff is like heaven.

So, I'm at work again today but feeling more refreshed and with a better outlook on the future. Not a great outlook but an improvement from the past week.

I have been reading a lot online about miscarriages and causes. I am the type of person that needs a reason or explanation for bad things that happen. This all just doesn't seem to make sense to me most of the time and I feel the need to know for any future pregnancy. I would be devastated to have this happen again and again. I don't know if I could actually handle it. Anyway, I read this online and it seems pretty verbatim to what my doctor explained to me about why she thought that this happened. She's not positive and we may never find the real reason but since this is the most common reason and nothing else has come up that is abnormal with me, this is the answer I'm believing now...

Chromosomal abnormality is the most common reason for early miscarriages. In fact, up to 70% of first trimester miscarriages are the result of chromosomal defects. Chromosomes are special strands that carry your baby’s DNA. Every baby should have 23 pairs of chromosomes, which help to determine their physical characteristics and allow them to carry out physical functions. After fertilization, sometimes the egg begins to split improperly, creating the wrong number of chromosomes. Molar pregnancies, in which the fetus develops abnormally, or in which the placenta or amniotic membranes don’t form, are a common type of chromosomal abnormality.


We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.
- Kenji Miyazawa